With everything said and  done it’s hard not to smile 😊😊😊😊 #debate #kickedsomeass #stressfree #happy #smile #collegelife #argumentationclass  (at MCC Café)

With everything said and done it’s hard not to smile 😊😊😊😊 #debate #kickedsomeass #stressfree #happy #smile #collegelife #argumentationclass (at MCC Café)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

115,251 notes

keatonpickles:

mrchrismad:

beaumarbre:

random-homestuck-things:

bishounen-jake-english:

jackadiddlediddle:

bishounen-jake-english:

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW

THIS IS A TRUMPET

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THIS IS A TROMBONE

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THIS IS A TUBA

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AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

You mean trumpet

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Slidey Trumpet

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Big ass trumpet

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Drunk Trumpet

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I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU

My sides

AT LEAST YOUR INSTRUMENTS LOOK DIFFERENT 

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those are some fancy guitars

general population tumblr worries me

(Source: dirfloon)

348,102 notes

Just because you’d left something behind didn’t mean that it had gone anywhere.
Morgan Matson, Second Chance Summer (via splitterherzen)

109 notes

She deserves better, you say. I say: You’re a goddamn coward. What she deserves is an actual person she can connect with. She deserves you, or me or the entire world; she deserves someone achingly real and honest. She deserves a human being equally raw to pursue her and love her and, perhaps, destroy her emotionally, but she deserves all that as well. She doesn’t deserve anyone’s sugary fairytale. She deserves to float freely, with you, or me, or the world, into the very depths of her own psychosynthesis. She deserves to explore the meaning of the word "intimacy", with someone beside her that will care regardless. She fucking deserves all of it. So, pluck up the courage and be with her or leave her in peace but don’t you dare "sell" her your own "inadequacy" as a lie so that, again, you manage to comfort your conscience and eventually come to feel that you love her exactly because you’re letting her go. Because, darling, that’s bullshit. That’s only you own little self-created lie laying behind a much bigger lie; it’s not even properly concealed within itself, you fucking idiot.

71,696 notes

vercxce:

My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family

They seem like nice people

151,377 notes

anon asked: Lorelai or Rory Gilmore?

758 notes

You’ve a good heart. Sometimes that’s enough to see you safe wherever you go. But mostly, it’s not.
Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere (via observando)

682 notes

I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
Beatrice Sparks, Go Ask Alice (via quoted-books)

372 notes